'Don't ask, Don't tell' should be repealed in our churches, families and communities too

Recently, while Secretary of Defense Bill Gates visited the U.S. troops serving in Iraq, he was asked what consequences he expected from the repeal of the 1990's policy "don't ask, don't tell". The change will allow the many homosexual men and women already serving in the armed forces to be open and honest about whom they really are. At the present time, Secretary Gates went on to say that he really did not expect much change as a result of the repeal, since troops will continue to be expected to treat each other with "dignity, respect and discipline". I love those words and I wish they would apply to every human organization and work environment in the planet. Imagine what could happen if every form of discrimination, bigotry and hatred disappeared as a result of our treating each other with greater dignity and respect!

I am sure another direct side-effect of this repeal is that we can ensure that all young people, regardless of their sexual orientation, will be able to serve the military in the future, free of unnecessary fear or stigma. Young people who enter military service in their late teens are right in the midst of experiencing some of the most crucial years of their sexual identity and overall stages of human development.

Although I am aware this repeal is controversial, especially in some ultra-conservative circles, I am sure it is the right thing for our government and military to do. Denial cannot be healthy for any organization - and to deny the presence, dedication and sacrifice of a good number of men and women in our military due to their sexual identity and orientation – is wrong.

The time has come for other sectors of our society; starting with our families, churches and communities begin to consider their own repeals of "Don't ask, don't tell". There are too many teenagers being bullied and attempting suicide because of the rejection and harshness they so often experience in places where they should be experiencing understanding and greater compassion; especially in their own families and religious institutions. There are too many churches that are preaching homophobia and practice exclusion; as if God did not love all of his children in the same way. What is even worse is that too many people are still unable to have intelligent conversations about issues of human sexuality, without almost immediately resorting to condemnations based on what they believe to be right for everyone.

Our churches should be leading the way to inclusion, acceptance and love of all people; regardless of what their particular situations might be. We too often forget the fundamental message of the Bible: God is love. Loving people do not discriminate, exclude or go out of their way to hurt others – not even when they think they are right!

Recently, I was reading a 2010 book by Pope Benedict XVI, whom I believe to be a very bright theologian and certainly one of the most influential spiritual leaders in the world. But, I have to confess that I was bothered with his words in answer to the presence of homosexuals in the priesthood. The Pope says,

"Homosexuality is incompatible with the priestly vocation. Otherwise, celibacy would lose its meaning as a renunciation. It would be extremely dangerous if celibacy became a sort of pretext for bringing people into the priesthood who don't want to get married anyway. For, in the end, their attitude toward man and woman is somehow distorted..." (Light of the World p. 152)

I would just say one thing to the Pope and other religious leaders who share his views: Too late! Homosexuals have always been in the priesthood and they never had to really make a choice of whether or not to marry a woman. The fact is that the imposition of mandatory lifetime celibacy for all priests and excluding homosexuals from priestly ministry are two impossible things. How can the Pope honestly insist on that position? Answer: Simply by enforcing the Church's long-sustained version of "Don't ask, don't tell". Most church leaders are well aware of the fact that there are thousands of homosexuals who are monks, nuns, priests, bishops and Cardinals. Many of them are some of the finest people and most dedicated servants of God. As long as they stay "mostly" quiet about it, the Church is happy.

Unfortunately, it looks like in most churches, the religious version of "Don't ask, don't tell" will take much longer to repeal.

Father Albert Cutié is the author of the New York Times bestseller Dilemma: A Priest's Struggle with Faith and Love and soon-to-be host of the daily talk show 'Father Albert' debuting on Fox in summer of 2011, brokered by William Morris Endeavor. He has had the special privilege of entering millions of homes throughout the world with his television and radio talk shows, as well as his newspaper advice columns. He was the first priest to host a daily "talk-show" as part of a major network on national and international secular television. His first self-help book, Real Life, Real Love was published by Penguin and became a best-seller in Spanish. He is now a married priest in the Episcopal Diocese of Southeast Florida.

For more information, please visitwww.padrealberto.com or his pages on Facebook, Twitter andThe Huffington Post.